Helping a child through grief

Recently, we have had to experience some major grief as my husband suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. And although I am struggling myself, my main concern was for my grandchildren and how I could help them deal with the loss of their Poppy.

Previously, I had created a series of books for kids that told a story and asked the reader questions, as a way to get them talking about their feelings. The research I did for these books is now helping me, not only deal with my own grief, but also to give me ideas on how I can talk to the kids.

all available through the quiteacharacter bookstore or Amazon

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Kids are indeed resilient, and they don't get mired in their grief. They still play and have fun, but occasionally the sadness interrupts them and they either need a quiet moment for themselves, a hug from someone they love or just a chance to talk about how they are feeling.

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Reading stories about loss and grief can help them see others having similar experiences (it is good to know you are not alone in how you feel), allow them to talk about how they feel, and give them coping strategies to help them get through some of their sad moments.

Winston's Forever Blanket is a heartfelt tale of Winston and his special blanket given to him by his beloved mother. It's a story about loss, memories and feelings written by Argyro Graphy and Kids Creative Press (a group of children who wanted to help out a friend who was going through a loss).

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Something Lost Something Found by Natalia Paruzel-Gibson offers a journey to reclaim happiness. It is a wonderful tale not only to help work through grief, but it also provides a lighthearted way of understanding some of the emotions we feel; and finding those we think we lost.

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Memories are what is left to us after someone passes, so connecting our new way of life (without that person) to memories helps keep them alive in our hearts. Perhaps they can be honoured with a book dedication, or a story about them. Maybe a song can be written for them, or a painting made of them, a bench or bridge build in their name.... Listen to how the kids want to honour the memory, and do your best to make that happen.

There are also ways to take some of those memories and create a keepsake of that special person. Maybe it is a scrapbook, maybe it is jewelry or maybe it is a bear made from clothes that were left behind.

I am sending some of Poppy's shirts to Bella's Bears Company. I can't wait to get some memory bears for my grandkids.

"Let there be happy memories that take us by surprise, welcome thoughts of the one we miss, and healing moments that fill our hearts with hope."

– Keely Chace